Congressman Aaron Schock (Republican, for the record) is with Padma in the Top Chef kitchen. As the female (and probably a few male) chefs continue to swoon, he’ll be judging the Quickfire Challenge. You know, because being a politician makes you qualified to judge chefs. To help educate Bravo viewers about the importance of limiting lobbyist spending, the chefs must create a dish to serve to the Congressman – but the dish must fit on a toothpick.

After Padma and Aaron shove sticks down their throats for a while (it was seriously awkward to watch, like the sad beginnings of an eating disorder), the winners and losers are announced.

Alex and his 8,000 flavors were too much for tiny Aaron, Ed’s umbrella-garnished toothpick was all looks and no taste and Kelly’s was just a straight up ‘no.’ And now she’s whining, which is totally unbecoming, especially on her.

Kevin, Angelo and somehow Stephen (sorry, you know it’s true) come out on top, but it’s Angelo’s cucumber/shrimp collabo that land him in The Winner’s Circle with 20,000 extra bucks. Read More

Insanity.

Click here to see The Lamp Post quoted on a big kid blog.

Crazy.

The Lamp Post has been noticed by the big kids! As most of you know, I’ve been blogging for RealityWanted for a while now, covering Millionaire Matchmaker this past season.

More recently, I’ve been asked to cover Top Chef for their site, which – given my love of Top Chef - has been particularly fun.

The only thing better than watching and blogging, however, is the chance to chat with the cheftestants themselves. Lucky for me, that is just the opportunity this new blogging gig has afforded me! Each week, I’ve gotten the chance to chat with that week’s eliminated chef. Until now, I haven’t posted my chats on The Lamp Post (For the record, all my Top Chef coverage can be found over at RealityWanted by clicking here), but I’m going to start carrying my chat recaps over and dual posting them here, for the perusal of you fine folks.

The first chat wrap follows after the jump…enjoy! Read More

This week’s episode of Top Chef: D.C. is not for the weak of heart – or of stomach.

The Quickfire Challenge was to create a dish using ‘exotic’ ingredients. It turns out that exotic is just another word for crazy. Most of the chefs were a bit put off by the idea of cooking yak or llama, but not Angelo. He embraced his duck balls and decided to create a marshmallow ‘o’ ball. That’s right, he was cooking with testes. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on who you ask), Padma threw the chefs a curveball, which would relinquish Angelo from testicle duty. The chefs had to stop their cooking, turn to their left, and cook with that chef’s protein. This left Kevin to deal with the duck crotch.

After the food was tasted (and the balls descended), Stephen, Alex and Andrea were named the worst of the bunch. This did not please Andrea, who was already freaking out about guest judge Michelle Bernstein. Apparently, Andrea and Michelle are quite the adversaries within the Miami food scene. Saucy!

Kelly made the most of the ‘exotic’ challenge, claiming victory with her goat cheese and emu egg omelet. Sounds…neat. I’ll take the judges’ word for it and assume it was delicious.

The Elimination Challenge, dubbed the “Cold War” challenge, required the chefs to create cold entrees. The catch to this challenge is that the chefs were split into two groups and each group became part of the judging panel, critiquing the other chefs’ cuisines. The cheftestants were asked to select the best and worst from the opposing side. Sounds like the perfect chance to throw your enemies under the bus, doesn’t it?

Angelo is helping the others, and the others are suspicious. I have a feeling they have every right to be cautious of his tutelage. In no time, the first group is serving their dishes to the judging panel, including their competitors.

Amanda serves up chicken galantine and the other chefs really nail her. Seems like they’re being a little too picky, but it’s hard to say you wouldn’t do the same in their situation. The group throws some surprising love behind Kevin’s surf ‘n’ turf, before returning to the sass and ripping apart Kenny’s duo of grilled lamb. It’s worth noting that Angelo is particularly harsh, to the surprise of exactly no one. Alex’s sous vide lamb and Ed’s vichyssoise aren’t received much better, though, and in the end, the judging group crowns Kevin the champion – and sends Kenny to the chopping block.

Turnabout is fair play, as the group of overly judgy judges becomes the judged. But that’s after Ed brags about ‘banging’ Angelo’s girlfriend back in the day. Classy gent.

The second group of cheftestants turned judges definitely made their opinions known, but they did so in a decidedly less heinous manner than the first group, although they do attempt to slander Angelo much like the other group did to Kenny.

Tiffany’s peppercorn-crusted ahi tuna is a huge hit, but people aren’t really feelin’ feelin’ the flavor profile in Andrea’s trio of tare tares. Stephen’s chilled beef is as underwhelming as most of his other creations. Angelo’s slow poached Salmon is met with not-so-welcoming stomachs, but Tamesha’s overly spiced rhubarb scallops are public enemy number one, as she is put up for elimination by her colleagues. Tiffany’s tuna is deemed the favorite.

Back in the holding area (better known as the beer room), Angelo tells Kenny that he’s in the bottom three, and Kenny wiggles in his chair rather hilariously.

The judges inform Tiffany and Kevin that their dishes are the favorites of the other chefs, as well as the judges themselves. Michelle Bernstein tells Tiffany that her dish was the most refreshing, but she declares Kevin the challenge winner, prompting a Situation-esque fist pump from Kevin.

Tamesha and Kenny are in the bottom two, and neither of them appears to be able to get their heads around the situation. Tom tells Tamesha that her scallop got lost in the mess of everything else she threw in there. Kenny tries to convince the judges that he’s only in the bottom two because the other chefs are threatened by him, and Michelle Bernstein reminds him that this is her first time tasting the food this season – and that she wasn’t into his dish…like at all. Now that’s comedy!

Tamesha is going home, but because of whose doing? Tiffany reminds us that Angelo had a hand in her dish, questioning his motives and his trustworthiness.

Now there’s something to ponder until next week…

They teased it in the previews; we know it’s coming…the double elimination! Dun dun dun.

As sad as it will be to say goodbye times two, this show always starts with too many people, so I welcome the double dismissal. I also love alliteration. (You might say I adore alliteration.)

Tonight’s Quickfire Challenge is for the babies. Literally. Since Padma and Tom are both new parents, they are having the chefs create a dish that can be pureed and served to the wee ones. It’s also a high stakes Quickfire, so there’s $10,000 in it for both Tom and Padma’s respective favorites.

Timothy’s overcooked lamb didn’t do it for the judges. Neither did Alex’s herb-heavy puree, Kevin’s pool of blood under his duck (gross!) and Kelly’s flavorless dish that was full of lemon seeds. Yum! Tom loved Lynne’s flavor combinations, but chose Tamesha’s dish as his  $10,000 favorite. He seemed to really love her homemade licorice oil. Meanwhile, Padma went gaga for Angelo’s “elegant” baby food, but gave her $10,000 to Kenny’s dish for being “yummy food.” It’s a baby challenge, so we get baby vocabularies, apparently.

The chefs pairs up for the Elimination Challenge (here’s that double elimination!) and are joined by guest judge Beth Scott of Hilton Hotels & Resorts. Tonight’s winning dish will be added to the menu at Hilton hotels.

This challenge is extra-intense and thus way more fun to watch. In short, everyone cooks breakfast. Then, two teams will be declared safe, and the rest will cook lunch. Two more teams will be deemed safe, and the remaining three teams will cook dinner, after which one team will pack their knives and, you know, go.

The judging panel features some familiar faces, as well, including Spike, Mike and Bryan, all of whom work at or own restaurants in the DC area. It’s fun to watch Tom act all frat boy around his chef ‘bros.’

There is some hilarious flirting going on between Tamesha and Angelo. It’s mostly Angelo flirting and Tamesha laughing. After the breakfast round, the elated teams of Amanda/Stephen and Timothy/Tiffany are all safe. Kenny freaks out a bit, but then gets back to the kitchen to start on lunch. Sadly for him, he’s also cooking dinner. After lunch, Angelo/Tamesha (celeb couple name: Tamelo) and Alex/Ed are deemed safe. This leaves the teams of Kenny/Kevin, Arnold/Lynne and Kelly/Andrea left to cook for their lives.

Kenny/Kevin and Kelly/Andrea are both making short ribs – showdown! Kenny and Kevin are pairing theirs with carrots and potatoes, stew-style, while Kelly and Andrea focus on the glaze, with a side of polenta and mushrooms. Meanwhile, Arnold and Lynne are going with pineapple red curry mussels with squid ink pasta.

We end up with the three dinner teams at judges’ table. The catch is that one team cooked the challenge’s winning dish, and one team is going home. Quite a twist! Who’s the winning team? I bet those teams sitting in the stew room are pretty irritated.

In the end, Kelly and Andrea come out on top, thanks to their gooey glaze. They get their dish on the Hilton menu and each win a trip to Europe. Not too shabby!

After the winners bounce, it’s time for the bottom four to claw each other’s eyes out. Lynne throws Arnold under the undercooked pasta bus, and Kenny’s lack of glaze-friendliness gets him called out, like whoa.

It was clear they were never going to send Kenny home, even if his teammate was among the weakest remaining chefs, and so Lynne and Arnold were scarified, even after both serving up judges’ favorite dishes in the past. Just goes to show that no one is safe! This isn’t the Next Food Network Star!

Arnold & Lynne Attempt to Save Themselves