…if it’s any consolation, she was voted “Sexiest Actress,” too!

As long as you look conventionally hot while doing something, you can be as sucky at it as you wish. At least I assume that is the lesson we are to glean from this scenario.

I can’t say this surprises me. Did anyone actually enjoy her “performance” hosting SNL earlier this year?

To be frank, Megan Fox reminds me of a Waffle House waitress that regales her patrons with stories of auditions gone awry. Then one day, she wises up, gets on her back and rises to the top! More or less…

You can read all about Ms. Fox’s dubious honor here. The poll was conducted by AOL’s cinema-offshoot, MovieFone.

Relive the year in pop music, courtesy of DJ Earworm. He has mashed the 25 biggest hits of the year…so you don’t have to!

I must say this is a pretty bangin’ mashup. Mr. Schuster would be proud. I listened to this puppy on repeat during my trip back to NYC after visiting la mia famiglia (that’s Italian for ‘my family’) during the holiday season.

My favorite moments? Those come at 00:08, 02:17 and 04:26 in the video’s time progression. Do I even need to tell you why? : )

Enjoy!

That’s right. Your Christmas wish has come true. Another list for your perusing pleasure.

Today, I’m proud to present The Lamp Post’s list of the Top 11 breakout stars of 2K9. Enjoy!

(Reasons for the inclusion of each are after the photo preview…)

11. Tiger’s Mistresses

These chicks should really be #1, but I just couldn’t do that. Whether they are fame-seeking celeb humpers or hookers with hearts of (fool’s) gold, these gals have been shoved down our collective faces during the last month. (Side note: I can’t believe it’s only been a month since this story broke.) Maybe that’s because you can’t turn on any channel without seeing one of these hoes. Anyhow, congrats girls. You did your thang (and them some).

10. Jim Parsons

Easily the funniest part of CBS’s The Big Bang Theory, Jim Parsons really broke through in 2009. So much so that he even joined the ranks of Alec Baldwin & Steve Carell when he was nominated alongside these gents for Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series at this year’s Primetime Emmy Awards. And if you haven’t seen the hilarious Leonard Nimoy napkin episode, do yourself a favor and check it out.

9. Melanie Oudin

The Cinderella story at this year’s US Open, the adorable Oudin had a miracle run, defeating gals much older – and taller – than her en route to reaching her first Grand Slam Quarterfinal ever.

8. Kris Allen

Did you really think I would leave this Idol nugget off the list? As if. Plus, Kris’s self-titled debut album is probably one of the best albums you’re NOT listening to. It’s track after track of pop/rock goodness. Listen to my personal fave, Alright With Me, right now. Seriously, click that.

7. Carey Mulligan

A front runner for Best Actress at the just-around-the-corner Academy Awards, Mulligan has already scooped up tons of accolades for her star turn in An Education. Most recently, she received nods from both the Golden Globes & The Screen Actors Guild. Bonus points for starring alongside one of my favorite actors, Mr. Maggie Gyllenhaal Peter Sarsgaard.

6. Levi Johnston

I was tempted to put this Eskimo at #1 for no other reason than the hilarious and embarassing shit storm he’s caused the Palin clan. But really, who can deny the attention he’s received this year? Shameless self promotion? Sure. But promotion, nonetheless. Plus, has anyone in history gone from appearing at the Republican National Convention one year, to turning into a huge gay icon the next year? Only Levi, people. Only Levi.

5. Chris Pine

Star Trek was one of the biggest films of the summer – and my favorite blockbuster of the year. There was talk that William Shatner wasn’t happy about the new film, mostly because he wasn’t asked to be a part of it like his old pal – and original Spock -  Leonard Nimoy. I never thought I’d mention Nimoy twice in one blog post. Still, even Shatner can appreciate Pine’s brilliant – and hilarious -  portrayal of Captain Kirk in the first of J. J. Abrams Star Trek tales. At this point that train wreck with Lilo seems like a distant memory, eh Chris?

4. Gabourey Sidibe

PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS! Unless you’ve been living under a Christmas rock, you know this gal plays the title role in director Lee Daniels’ new film. Gabourey, along with former Charm School Headmaster, Monique, has been getting rave reviews for her performance. I’d be shocked if she doesn’t get an Oscar nod. And to think…this is her first movie. Ever.

3. Adam Lambert

He sang, he screamed, he simulated fellatio on national television. What didn’t Adam Lambert do in 2009? I guess any woman is the answer to that question. Love him or hate him, he’s been everywhere this year. His staying power remains to be seen, but there are plenty of Glambert fans out there and the album is pretty good. Listen to Whatya Want From Me. It’s a nice, mid tempo ballad that I bet even Adam’s biggest detractors will enjoy.

2. Lea Michele

Rachel Berry is love. And so is Lea Michele. I was lucky enough to catch Ms. Michele live on stage during her heartbreaking & beautiful performance in one of my favorite Broadway musicals ever, Spring Awakening. Luckily for the larger population, you don’t have to make the trip to NYC to enjoy this girl’s very special gifts. Don’t forget that Glee: The Road to Sectionals is released on DVD Tuesday. Thanks to my sis and her fiance for pre-ordering my copy. And apologies to my neighbors for the 24/7 sing-along that will insue upon delivery.

1. Susan Boyle

All hail SuBo! Seriously, who else could top this list? Bo Obama? It’s been quite a year for this gal. Everyone with internet access watched and cried as good ol’ SuBo reminded us all that you can’t judge a book by its ratty, hand-me-down cover. But this beauty is no reality TV fluke. Susan’s debut album, I Dreamed a Dream, sold 701,000 copies in its first week (in the U.S.), making it the best opening week for a debut artist in over a decade. Yowza!

Relive the moment that made Susan a star – and made Simon Cowell even more money – here.

…of course you are.

For all those Sex & The City lovers out there, Christmas morning came a little early in the form of the release of the first teaser trailer for Sex & The City 2.

The good news is that SJP and co. haven’t lost their love of puns as “Carrie On” seems to be the slogan of choice for this film. Remember “Get Carried Away” from the first movie?

It also looks like this movie will follow the ladies in and out of the city…way out of the city. Check out the trailer below to see what I mean…

The countdown binge continues, friends, and today it’s my take on the best songs of the year.

This list is based on a few factors. I went for songs that had the biggest impact on music and pop culture in America in 2009, but I also included some tunes that I just really love.

What was your favorite song of The Great Recession 2009? Here’s my top 11, with clips of each.

11. Empire State of Mind, Jay Z feat. Alicia Keys

The song that defined a team – and then a city. This song has been everywhere during the last few months. Whether you’ve been humming it endlessly – or been irritated endlessly by it – this song has been a part of your life.

10. Sober, P!NK

P!NK is one of the most underrated artists in pop music. She releases consistently great songs and has a terrific live voice to back it up. This song has a great hook – but also an interesting message. It’s about realizing that, at some point, you have to leave the partying behind. (LiLo, please take note. We all miss Cady Heron.) Plus, this video offers up some P!NK on P!NK kissing which is both enticing and decidedly uncomfortable at the same time.

9. Need You Now, Lady Antebellum

This song has been on repeat on my iPod for the last few months and for good reason. It’s hauntingly beautiful and their harmonies are just so purdy. The video also fits in nicely. It illustrates the lyrics perfectly, with a little surprise twist at the end.

These guys are definitely one of the best new country artists of the last few years. Listen to this song, have some drinks and then call someone you shouldn’t.

8. Bulletproof, La Roux

One of the best electronic singles of the year, for me. Lost in the shadow of Gaga, there are other artists doing some cool things in the dance/electronic world – and La Roux is one of them. (Update: I’m told La Roux is two people, which is curious since they only ever show the one girl. So, I’m going to continue calling them ‘her.’) HER whole album is great, but this single just makes me all kinds of happy. I dare you not to bob your head to this beat. The video is just kind of a a trippy video game, but the song is so good that it doesn’t matter.

7. Hometown Glory, Adele

Great Song + Incredible Voice = Success. It’s really that simple with this one. Adele’s voice is like smooth butter and on this song it soars. The piano intro is aggressive and beautiful and everyone can relate to the song’s lyrics of hometown memories. Really cool, single shot video clip is an added bonus. The sets and camera moves make for some really cool moments.

6. You Belong With Me, Taylor Swift

Some songs are so ubiquitous that they simply can’t be ignored. This is one of those songs – and in 2009 – Taylor Swift was definitely one of those artists. “You Belong With Me” represents Taylor perfectly. It’s a sweet, catchy love song with a sugary sweet music video to boot.

Everyone knows this song an mostly everyone likes it, though some folks will never admit to that. It’s also impossible to watch the music video without smiling. However, you’re not really helping out the wind section of that band by just waving that flute around, Swifty.

5. That’s Not My Name, The Ting Tings

Probably my very favorite group of 2009, The Ting Tings ‘ music was everywhere. Slumdog Millionaire, MTV’s Taking The Stage, countless commercials and always in my head. All their tunes are catchy as hell, but this stands out among the rest.

Oh and here’s a little challenge: listen to the second, background chorus in this song, sung by the guy, and try to decipher the lyrics. Do it, it’s fun. Don’t just Google the lyrics. Well, now that I said that you probably will just Google the lyrics. Oh well…

4. Single Ladies, Beyonce

It’s true that I think Beyonce is an overexposed, money-hungry hooch with a scary father, but it’s also true that I start waving my left hand around like a goon the moment I hear the beginning of this song. It’s just an awesome tune, with an even more awesome video. Just Beyonce and some dancers, but that’s all it took.

The amount of spoofs and homemade covers this video spawned is plain crazy. And if we weren’t sure it was one of the best videos of the year, we were after Kanye put shapes in his hair and told us it was.

3. My Life Would Suck Without You, Kelly Clarkson

What would a year-end music countdown be without a Shelly appearance? I’ll answer that. It would be a sad, sad thing. And I’m about great, happy things.

While any ‘09 Shelly song could fill this spot in my book, it’s hard to deny the power of the ‘Suck.’ The song set a Billboard chart record back in January when it leaped from 97 to 1 on the Hot 100 in one week. I was not surprised when it happened and I remained not surprised. It’s a great pop song from the best vocalist in pop music. Of course it went to #1. Watch her toss shit out the window and prance around a fake apartment with her video boyfriend below.

2. Use Somebody, Kings of Leon

One of the year’s best songs, courtesy of arguably the year’s best band. Kings of Leon has been around for awhile, but in 2009 the masses took hold of the Followill boys and haven’t let go yet. The entire “Only by the Night” album is ridiculously good, but Use Somebody has that anthemic quality which makes it a big crowd favorite.

1. Poker Face, Lady Gaga

Numero Uno for the Alejandro lover. I re-arranged this Top 11 ordering a half dozen times, but each time Gaga was still #1. This song was inescapable in 2009 and bluffin’ with my muffin became a national catchphrase that made sexually insecure dudes everywhere wonder if their girlfriends where thinking about them…or Judy from the softball team. P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poker face…#1 for 2009!