Tonight, we will find out the names of the two folks (cough, Lee, cough, Crystal) that will make it to next week’s American Idol season finale! Any bets on how anti-climactic this finale will be? Only time will tell.

The other children from the top twelve are in the audience tonight. So supportive. Actually, they are probably here to get fitted for their all white (or red, or green – something that is all one color!) costumes, which they will wear while lip-synching a group number next week.

First up, this evening, is a chat with Casey, Crystal and Lee. Actually, it’s a rather long chat. We found out some interesting things during this (prolonged) chat, too, including the fact that American Idol has a great healthcare plan to go along with its already-proven weight-loss regimen. The weight-loss plan seems basically forced on the contestants, but you can’t argue with the results! Case in point: remember Crystal’s first audition? Look at her now.

Ford music video time. This week, the contestants spray paint themselves, and the newly formed cartoon versions begin to sing! It’s more frightening than scary.

It’s time to take a trip back home with Casey…to Cool, Texas.  There is lots of the usual crying, screaming and all-around being excited. These hometown visits are always such heartstring tuggers, though no one is likely to top Kris Allen’s “Don’t cry, Mama” from last year. My tear ducts are dampening simply from typing that.

These two-sided fans are great. Casey is cool, no Casey is hot. That’s some clever craftsmanship! The hospital visit is intense. I vaguely remember hearing about Casey’s sickness earlier in the season, but I don’t think I realized how serious it was. And the always-classy Ryan goes right for the hospital question in the post-package interview. Ugh, how rude. At least the contestants are getting a taste of what life may be like after Idol, since they won’t be escaping Ryan Seacrest any time soon. They can look forward to interviews on his radio show and on the red carpet, both equally lame. The best and worst part of Casey’s feature was most certainly when the crazy lady had Casey autograph her dog. Just weird. And so wrong for the dog!

Next up is Travis Garland, who I do not care about, and Perez Hilton, who I do not care about even harder. (Just go with it.) Perez is championing this kid is as “better than Justin Timberlake.” After viewing his performance, I can confidently declare that this is most certainly, uh , not the case. The entire performance reeked as far as I’m concerned, especially those pooey falsetto notes at the end. No thanks. You don’t have that much control, Perez.

Next is a trip home to Toledo, Ohio with MamaSox. It’s another few minutes of crowds, homemade signs and an overwhelmed Idol. It was nice to see Crystal get emotional, even though at other times she seemed less than moved by the whole situation. The best parts of Crystal’s package – by far – were the appearance(s) by her father. Let me just say that I love this man. He ranks right up there with Elliot’s mother (RIP) as one of the most endearing parental figures ever on Idol.

Finally, it’s to the Midwest and Mt. Prospect, Illinois with Lee. I’m not just saying this because I’m rooting for Lee, but it seems he has the largest hometown support of all. Of course, it could’ve all just been edited to look that way. We know how Idol works by now. Still, he got to experience some pretty rad stuff. Throwing the first pitch at Wrigley Field? Very cool The crowd at the race track for his mini-concert? Definitely one of the largest of any Idol homecoming. My favorite moment, though, was what Lee yelled to his fans while driving away from one of his hometown stops: “I’m gonna try to win the thing.” Yes, Lee. Yes you are. And I hope you do.

Before we find out who is headed back to, well, where we just saw them, it’s time for a performance by the one. The only. The…Justin Bieber! Ahhhhh!!!!!!

To be fair, Bieber is a talented little nugget. The hair is definitely annoying, but there is some talent. There is also some fire, some drumming and some singing, though I believe it is being done over a loud backing track. And the performance ends with Bieber staring straight into the camera, smiling like a goon, as we head to commercial. Aw, that Beiber. He does just what he’s told!

Decision time. First, Lee is safe. (Thank God!) Then, Crystal is safe. (Phew!) Ryan sort of messed up that second moment, though. He didn’t wait long enough for the crowd to quiet down after cheering for Lee, so the announcement about Crystal being safe was a huge afterthought. Fail.

Casey is headed back to Cool, Texas and it’s for the best. It’s been for the best for a few weeks, so at least it’s finally done. And to celebrate his departure, Casey is singing “Daughters.” And look, there he goes, picking up someone else’s daughter. I assume hope he knows this little girl. I hope he does.

The stage is set, friends. Kelly, Reuben, Fantasia, Carrie, Taylor, Jordin, David, Kris, _____. Whose name is about to join that list? Make your predictions!

Casey Peaces Out