If you’re a resident of Glamnation, today is a holiday. Adam Lambert’s new video for “If I Had You” is finally available for public consumption.

I suppose you can catch it on MTV or VH1 at 7am in the morning. Otherwise, YouTube it is!

Personally, I’m not feelin’ feelin’ the weird dreadlocks Adam is rockin’ in this vid, but I do love the Allison Iraheta cameo.

The clip is more in the vein of “For Your Entertainment” than “Whataya Want From Me,” sans the crotch-grabbing and forced fellatio Adam became infamous for early on. Draw your own conclusions below…

After Glambert’s national porn audition performance at the American Music Awards last year, and the subsequent fall-out he suffered as a result, it was no surprise when Adam’s label rushed his second single to radio. While I thought the whole fiasco was much ado about nothing, apparently some people just can’t turn a blind eye to forceful dude on dude kissing and a crotch-to-mouth version of Gestures. Silly America…

The new single, “Whataya Want From Me,” is a mid-tempo track co-written by P!NK during her Funhouse sessions. The song didn’t make her record and Adam really lucks out being gifted this gem as a result. It’s right up his alley, with tender verses (think Idol performance of Mad World) and a guitar-driven chorus that gives him the chance to belt and shriek with all his might.

In the clip for the video, which leaked last week and got its official premiere Friday on VH1, Adam gets to flex some actual acting chops for the first time. The “I want to bone you” eyes he made all throughout the For Your Entertainment video are a little more Craig’s List than Thespian, if you catch my drift.

Besides his band in the performance shots, this video is 100% Glambert. It’s obvious from the beginning that the POV we’re given as the viewer is of the person Adam is fighting and pleading with during the song. Throughout the clip, Adam runs from, yells at and throws up his arms in protest to whomever is operating (shakily at that) the handy cam. Is this another tale of love gone bad and finding resolution? Or are we (Idol Nation! The Music Industry! America! THE WORLD!) the other side of the argument in question? Is it us that he’s begging for understanding from? Very deep, Adam. Very deep.

What do YOU think? Is this Adam’s olive branch to the Religious Right? Or is it just another breakup song? Check out the clip below and decide for yourself.

That’s right. Your Christmas wish has come true. Another list for your perusing pleasure.

Today, I’m proud to present The Lamp Post’s list of the Top 11 breakout stars of 2K9. Enjoy!

(Reasons for the inclusion of each are after the photo preview…)

11. Tiger’s Mistresses

These chicks should really be #1, but I just couldn’t do that. Whether they are fame-seeking celeb humpers or hookers with hearts of (fool’s) gold, these gals have been shoved down our collective faces during the last month. (Side note: I can’t believe it’s only been a month since this story broke.) Maybe that’s because you can’t turn on any channel without seeing one of these hoes. Anyhow, congrats girls. You did your thang (and them some).

10. Jim Parsons

Easily the funniest part of CBS’s The Big Bang Theory, Jim Parsons really broke through in 2009. So much so that he even joined the ranks of Alec Baldwin & Steve Carell when he was nominated alongside these gents for Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series at this year’s Primetime Emmy Awards. And if you haven’t seen the hilarious Leonard Nimoy napkin episode, do yourself a favor and check it out.

9. Melanie Oudin

The Cinderella story at this year’s US Open, the adorable Oudin had a miracle run, defeating gals much older – and taller – than her en route to reaching her first Grand Slam Quarterfinal ever.

8. Kris Allen

Did you really think I would leave this Idol nugget off the list? As if. Plus, Kris’s self-titled debut album is probably one of the best albums you’re NOT listening to. It’s track after track of pop/rock goodness. Listen to my personal fave, Alright With Me, right now. Seriously, click that.

7. Carey Mulligan

A front runner for Best Actress at the just-around-the-corner Academy Awards, Mulligan has already scooped up tons of accolades for her star turn in An Education. Most recently, she received nods from both the Golden Globes & The Screen Actors Guild. Bonus points for starring alongside one of my favorite actors, Mr. Maggie Gyllenhaal Peter Sarsgaard.

6. Levi Johnston

I was tempted to put this Eskimo at #1 for no other reason than the hilarious and embarassing shit storm he’s caused the Palin clan. But really, who can deny the attention he’s received this year? Shameless self promotion? Sure. But promotion, nonetheless. Plus, has anyone in history gone from appearing at the Republican National Convention one year, to turning into a huge gay icon the next year? Only Levi, people. Only Levi.

5. Chris Pine

Star Trek was one of the biggest films of the summer – and my favorite blockbuster of the year. There was talk that William Shatner wasn’t happy about the new film, mostly because he wasn’t asked to be a part of it like his old pal – and original Spock -  Leonard Nimoy. I never thought I’d mention Nimoy twice in one blog post. Still, even Shatner can appreciate Pine’s brilliant – and hilarious -  portrayal of Captain Kirk in the first of J. J. Abrams Star Trek tales. At this point that train wreck with Lilo seems like a distant memory, eh Chris?

4. Gabourey Sidibe

PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS! Unless you’ve been living under a Christmas rock, you know this gal plays the title role in director Lee Daniels’ new film. Gabourey, along with former Charm School Headmaster, Monique, has been getting rave reviews for her performance. I’d be shocked if she doesn’t get an Oscar nod. And to think…this is her first movie. Ever.

3. Adam Lambert

He sang, he screamed, he simulated fellatio on national television. What didn’t Adam Lambert do in 2009? I guess any woman is the answer to that question. Love him or hate him, he’s been everywhere this year. His staying power remains to be seen, but there are plenty of Glambert fans out there and the album is pretty good. Listen to Whatya Want From Me. It’s a nice, mid tempo ballad that I bet even Adam’s biggest detractors will enjoy.

2. Lea Michele

Rachel Berry is love. And so is Lea Michele. I was lucky enough to catch Ms. Michele live on stage during her heartbreaking & beautiful performance in one of my favorite Broadway musicals ever, Spring Awakening. Luckily for the larger population, you don’t have to make the trip to NYC to enjoy this girl’s very special gifts. Don’t forget that Glee: The Road to Sectionals is released on DVD Tuesday. Thanks to my sis and her fiance for pre-ordering my copy. And apologies to my neighbors for the 24/7 sing-along that will insue upon delivery.

1. Susan Boyle

All hail SuBo! Seriously, who else could top this list? Bo Obama? It’s been quite a year for this gal. Everyone with internet access watched and cried as good ol’ SuBo reminded us all that you can’t judge a book by its ratty, hand-me-down cover. But this beauty is no reality TV fluke. Susan’s debut album, I Dreamed a Dream, sold 701,000 copies in its first week (in the U.S.), making it the best opening week for a debut artist in over a decade. Yowza!

Relive the moment that made Susan a star – and made Simon Cowell even more money – here.

I’ve already mentioned my love of year-end lists, and the American Idol anticipation is reaching a fever pitch in my apartment (mostly just my bedroom), so I thought now would be the perfect time to reveal The Lamp Post’s rundown of the Top 12 Performances in American Idol history. I know 10 sounds better, but I couldn’t do it. I love it too much. So you get two bonus clips! Check them out below and let me know if you agree – or totally disagree – with my list.

12. Chris Daughtry, “Walk The Line”

Before Chris Daughtry stole Chad Kroeger’s UFC-lovin’ fan base, he nearly won Idol’s 5^th season. But he didn’t. I hardly think he cares, though. He’s sold millions. Check out his take on this Cash classic. So dark. So bald.

11. Clay Aiken, “Solitaire”

Oh, Clay Aiken. What would this world be without Clay Aiken and his Claymates? A little more sane, sure, but we’d miss out on so much more. Say what you will about Clay and his baby mama, he’s got a great voice. And this performance is seriously good.

10. Jordin Sparks, “I Who Have Nothing”

It was weird to watch such a youngin’ sing about such big girl things, but Jordin Sparks still nailed this song. And here is a case with a name that just spells victory from the get go. Jordin SPARKS. If Sparks weren’t enough, spelling Jordin with an I certainly is.

9. Fantasia, “Summertime”

Again with the annoyingly unique names. I mean this one is a Disney film. Plus, one-named artists are instantly loved. Sorry Lil’ Rounds, you’re “lil” ruined your shot. Or was it your out of tune voice? I don’t remember. Anyway, this was Fantasia’s big moment, as well as one of the only performances I enjoyed. Hate on me, if you must. The screechines is unappealing.

8. Adam Lambert, “Mad World”

It’s easy to forget what a great singer Adam Lambert is when he’s sharing leftovers with Keyboard players and forcing faces into his zipper, but the dude can sing. Not just scream, really sing. This was a totally haunting performance that proved he’s not all flashy theatrics.

[Note: It appears that there are no embeddable versions of this video anywhere on the interweb, so a link to the clip will have to suffice this time: Adam Lambert, "Mad World"]

7 Katharine Mcphee, “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”

I had Mcphever from the get go. I became a true fan when she nearly crossed the “how slutty is too slutty?’ line with the yellow, “I Have Nothing” dress. This song was a truly great performance, though. Feel her pain as she grabs her neck and tosses her hair (and rips her dress). And the emotion – what an actress.  Check it out.

6.  David Archuleta, “Imagine”

Ah, Archie. The original nugget. Totally great. Except for the wildly creepy Dad. This performance was one of his best, and Paula’s critique is nearly undecipherable. God, I miss her already.

5. Jennifer Hudson, “Circle of Life”

Rise up, child. Rise up, zebra. Rise up baby Simba. This was amazing. And It was obvious there were bigger songs still to come for this supreme diva.

4. Tamyra Gray, “A House Is Not A Home”

Remember her? In addition to being the skinniest person in the world that’s not Kate Moss, Tamyra Gray nearly beat Shelly out for the Season 1 crown. Luckily, that tragedy was averted. She has a gnarly voice, regardless. This was particularly incredible.

3. Kris Allen, “Heartless”

Yes, it really was that good. This song is the reason Kris Allen won American Idol; everything about it is perfect.  Acoustic guitar + crystal clear nugget voice = recipe for a victory.

2. Carrie Underwood , “Making Love Out of Nothing At All”

I know I’ve given this Stepford wife a hard time lately, but I do like her. She sure is purdy and she’s got a terrific voice. A tad sharp at times, but that’s just because she lacks Shelly’s years of training. I almost picked “Alone,” because I think that was the song that made Carrie the one to beat in Season 4, but this Air Supply cover has always been my favorite. Plus, we get one of the best glory notes ever on Idol at the end of this tune.

1. Kelly Clarkson, “Stuff Like That There”

What did you expect? Norman Gentle? Of course Shelly is #1. But even when I take my fanboy costume off (it’s so tight, so hard to get off), this would still be number one. It’s hard to select from her assortment of flawless vocal performances, but this one – which came during Big Band week – is definitely the best of the best, the bomb diggity. Click it. Hear it. Love it.

Well if one thing’s for sure about this year’s American Music Awards, it’s this: there was something for everyone. Let’s review, shall we?

We had awkward via satellite footage of Taylor Swift (live from London) winning numerous awards. As always, she looked like a giddy Asian tourist at Disneyland during each of her acceptance speeches. She even beat out Michael Jackson for Artist of the Year, which is just hilarious on so many levels.

This night had the good, the bad & the you-know-what. We had flawless vocal performances from the likes of Mary J. Blige, a somewhat rehabilitated Whitney Houston and the always-flawless Shelly Sharkson. And if that weren’t enough, there were even simulated blow jobs, human leashes and a guy on glam make-out session courtesy of Adam Lambert!

In an effort to keep from bubbling over with excitement – and word count – here are some of the night’s highlights and my thoughts.

Janet Jackson looks ok, but would it kill her to actually sing? And why is there so much room in the crotch of her pants? She must be storing whatever is left of the Jackson family secrets.

Oh, Kelly Clarkson (Shelly Sharkson). Like a fine wine, you only get better with age. Sure, your dress makes you seem the elder stateswoman of the evening, but your voice is as smooth and lovely as ever. Oh, some coloring of the notes at the end. Do the damn thing, girl. The stage is your coloring book. Chills. Oh, what is this? A standing ovation? Of course it is. FHJADSHGAJGA! Hell to the no! Carrie Underwood, I don’t know what that shady face you’re wearing is for, but your ass was SLOW to rise up in appreciation of your older, wiser Idol sister. No respect. Check the video at the end of the post for the proof!

Gloriana just beat Gaga for Breakthrough Artist in what must be the biggest travesty ever for that award. Who the hell are you, Gloriana? Oh, apparently they toured with T Swifty. So we have Taylor Swift to blame for this.

Oh dear, J. Lo just hit the ground and she hit it hard. Thank God that thing is insured. She’s gonna need a new hip (and a new hit) when this sloppy mess is done.

Fergie & Carrie Underwood sound decent but equally out of tune this evening. Fergie has a right to be shaky. Her boo went and cheated on her with a fugly stripper. What’s your excuse Carrie? Is that stick up your ass making it hard to sing and smile at the same time?

Whitney is doing the damn thing, isn’t she? Still has a little crazy in her eyes, but she sounds great. OMG I love this weird ending. “Thank you! Thank you!” I wanted her to slip up and say “Bobbyyyyy!”

Lady Gaga and her troupe are wearing nude-colored suits. Hmm, this beginning is a little boring. Oh here we go – fake glass is fake shattering! I like this new song, Speechless. Say what you want about Gaga, her crazy antics and Amy Winehouse-like nose, the girl can definitely sing.

Oh God, Rihanna, I hate these new songs. What is wrong with you? Just break out an umbrella and do it, already.

Timbaland is a fat man in a tiny jacket. If everyone is going to call Shelly fat all the time, they need to do the same to this big ol’ nugget. ::Sigh::  Double standards.

And finally, we have Adam Lambert. What is there to say about this performance that hasn’t been said already? Although the west coast airing was apparently censored, those of us on the east coast saw it all. Adam started off strolling around the stage, clutching a leash which just so happened to be tied to a human being. Interesting. It’s sort of like those crazy parents that keep their kids on child leashes at amusement parts. No, that’s not right. This is definitely much weirder than that. Oh look at this. Now he has shoved his disco stick right into the face of a gentleman that looks all to excited to be the recipient. And now he’s sucking major face with the keyboard player. Wow. My jaw didn’t lift off the ground for a solid 4 minutes.

I need a cold shower – and a do-over of my first Catholic Reconciliation. Forgive me Father, for we all have sinned.

If you’re looking for clips of Kelly, Gaga & Adam, well you’re a day too late. Dick Clark and co. have pulled the videos from YouTube. If you’re super sleuthy, you can find other clips of the performances with a quick Google search.