This is amazing.

Check out this (near perfect) re-imagining of Gaga and Beyonce’s Telephone video, reminiscent of the days we all slid down green tubes and knew that flower = fire.

This time Beyonce’s unitard is to blame. Seems this little boy is none-to-pleased to find out that he is not a ’single lady.’

Au contraire, little one. If you have a few thousand bucks and some spare time for a prolonged and uncomfortable recovery, you, too, can be a single lady!

This movie video debuted just last night on E!, but it already seems as though everyone has already seen it. If you haven’t, enjoy!

I’ll try and piece some actual thoughts together about this video later, but for now I just had to share it and all its wack-a-doodle glory. Total camp, total over-the-top weirdness, everyone we’ve come to expect from GaGa. And Beyonce plays along. I also enjoyed the nods to Tarantino.

Here it is, all ten minutes of it.

I realize we are technically into 2010 now, but I think it’s worth a step backwards to fully appreciate the pop goodness that was the 2000s. Here’s my take on the top 11 tracks of the decade…

What was YOUR favorite song of the last ten years?

11. Beautiful, Christina Aguilera

“You are beautiful, no matter what they say.”

One of the most tragically beautiful songs, our decade list kicks off with this instant X-tina classic. It’s true that Damien’s memorable Mean Girls performance (Don’t look at me!) certainly helped this song make the decade-ending list, but X-tina’s effortless vocals and the song’s universal message are the real stars of the show. Whether you’re the Homecoming Queen or the chubby girl with body odor, you’re beautiful. Really.

10. Lose Yourself, Eminem

“There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti.”

I’ve never been the biggest Eminem fan in the world, but even I love this song. It won a friggen Oscar, after all. All the world watched as Marshall Mathers himself tried his hand at acting. To the shock of nearly everyone, he wasn’t awful. Then again, he played himself. And that sex scene with Brittany Murphy (RIP Tai from Clueless) might have been the white trashiest thing I’ve ever seen in all of cinema. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’d prefer to not be with my sister when hands are licked and lubrication takes place. It was just all very shocking.

9. Umbrella, Rihanna feat. Jay Z

“You’re part of my entity. Here for infinity.”

-Ella! -Ella! We all love the –Ella! Umbrellas are way better than Roulette tables, Rhi Rhi. Take our word for it. This was one of the definitive party songs of the 2000s, so it has to make the list. And watch for big Jay to make his second appearance on the countdown a little later. He’s the only artist to pop up twice…both times for a monster collabo.

8. Toxic, Britney Spears

“I’m addicted to you. Don’t you know that you’re toxic?”

This is pop music at it’s sugary finest, ladies and gents. Simple verses? Sing-along chorus? Slutty singer? It’s all here in one tidy, poisonous package. Plus, this video had boys and future LPGA players all across the country wishing Britney would welcome them to the mile-high club.

7. Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day

“My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me.”

Green day has been huge for years, but they had a truly huge decade in the 2000s. American Idiot signaled a clear turning point for the band. There music was less Dookie and more politically charged than ever before. This song makes the list because it’s damn sad but also damn good. Give it a listen to remember just how good Green Day can be.

6. Poker Face, Lady Gaga

“When it’s love, if it’s not rough it isn’t fun.”

The sole representative from 2009, p-p-p-poker face should definitely go down in the music history books as a standout of the decade. Nowhere was safe from this song this year. I’m pretty sure even churches used this as their processional theme. And I’m pretty sure I just reserved my suite in Hell for claiming that anything about Lady Gaga is at home in church. Oh well. It’s cold as shit in NYC right now, anyway.

5. Hey Ya!, Outkast

“Shake it like a Polaroid picture.”

The lyric above says it all. This was the tune that had everyone shaking it like a low-resolution photograph. It also taught us that the only thing cooler than being cool is ICE COLD. With this kind of sage advice, how could I not include Hey Ya! on a list of the decade’s best. Plus, I’d love to rock Andre 3000’s hair in this video.

4. Not Ready to Make Nice, The Dixie Chicks

“It’s a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.”

I love this song a lot. And not just because I think George W. Bush is the lamest of the lame. I love this song because it reminds people that the Dixie Chicks are fierce musicians and writers, whether you agree with their politics or not. I do agree with them, though. Maybe that does help me to like this song a bit more than someone with, shall we say, conservative ears.

3. Crazy in Love, Beyonce feat. Jay Z

“I’m not myself lately. I’m foolish. I don’t do this.”

This may be the closest we ever get to a Jay & B sex tape. I still long for the day when one of these hip hop titans slips up and shares their private collection with the masses (I mean, can you imagine!?!), but until then I’ll just listen to this ish over and over again.

2. Cry Me a River, Justin Timberlake

“It wasn’t like you only talked to him – and you know it. Don’t act like you don’t know it.”

Oh no he did not! At least that is how I remember reacting the first time I heard this song or saw this video. As everyone now knows, the story goes that allegedly JT heard from his old buddy and choreographer, Wade Robson, that ol’ pop ‘n’ lock Wade got a little too cozy with Brit Brit while she was still dating JT and wearing the matching denim to prove it. Justin enlisted Timbaland to provide the necessary “hot beats,” cast a Britney look-a-like for the video and the rest is pop music history.

1. Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson

“You should know that I get what I want.”

As if this list was going to be topped by anyone else with any other song. Bitch, please. This song is the shit. This girl is the total shit. And you are shit-ty if you don’t like it. Wherever you are right now, I’d like you to follow these simple instructions: turn up the volume on your computer, stand up, press play and enjoy the next three minutes and twelve seconds of pop goodness. I dare you to not nod your head (like yeah).

The countdown binge continues, friends, and today it’s my take on the best songs of the year.

This list is based on a few factors. I went for songs that had the biggest impact on music and pop culture in America in 2009, but I also included some tunes that I just really love.

What was your favorite song of The Great Recession 2009? Here’s my top 11, with clips of each.

11. Empire State of Mind, Jay Z feat. Alicia Keys

The song that defined a team – and then a city. This song has been everywhere during the last few months. Whether you’ve been humming it endlessly – or been irritated endlessly by it – this song has been a part of your life.

10. Sober, P!NK

P!NK is one of the most underrated artists in pop music. She releases consistently great songs and has a terrific live voice to back it up. This song has a great hook – but also an interesting message. It’s about realizing that, at some point, you have to leave the partying behind. (LiLo, please take note. We all miss Cady Heron.) Plus, this video offers up some P!NK on P!NK kissing which is both enticing and decidedly uncomfortable at the same time.

9. Need You Now, Lady Antebellum

This song has been on repeat on my iPod for the last few months and for good reason. It’s hauntingly beautiful and their harmonies are just so purdy. The video also fits in nicely. It illustrates the lyrics perfectly, with a little surprise twist at the end.

These guys are definitely one of the best new country artists of the last few years. Listen to this song, have some drinks and then call someone you shouldn’t.

8. Bulletproof, La Roux

One of the best electronic singles of the year, for me. Lost in the shadow of Gaga, there are other artists doing some cool things in the dance/electronic world – and La Roux is one of them. (Update: I’m told La Roux is two people, which is curious since they only ever show the one girl. So, I’m going to continue calling them ‘her.’) HER whole album is great, but this single just makes me all kinds of happy. I dare you not to bob your head to this beat. The video is just kind of a a trippy video game, but the song is so good that it doesn’t matter.

7. Hometown Glory, Adele

Great Song + Incredible Voice = Success. It’s really that simple with this one. Adele’s voice is like smooth butter and on this song it soars. The piano intro is aggressive and beautiful and everyone can relate to the song’s lyrics of hometown memories. Really cool, single shot video clip is an added bonus. The sets and camera moves make for some really cool moments.

6. You Belong With Me, Taylor Swift

Some songs are so ubiquitous that they simply can’t be ignored. This is one of those songs – and in 2009 – Taylor Swift was definitely one of those artists. “You Belong With Me” represents Taylor perfectly. It’s a sweet, catchy love song with a sugary sweet music video to boot.

Everyone knows this song an mostly everyone likes it, though some folks will never admit to that. It’s also impossible to watch the music video without smiling. However, you’re not really helping out the wind section of that band by just waving that flute around, Swifty.

5. That’s Not My Name, The Ting Tings

Probably my very favorite group of 2009, The Ting Tings ‘ music was everywhere. Slumdog Millionaire, MTV’s Taking The Stage, countless commercials and always in my head. All their tunes are catchy as hell, but this stands out among the rest.

Oh and here’s a little challenge: listen to the second, background chorus in this song, sung by the guy, and try to decipher the lyrics. Do it, it’s fun. Don’t just Google the lyrics. Well, now that I said that you probably will just Google the lyrics. Oh well…

4. Single Ladies, Beyonce

It’s true that I think Beyonce is an overexposed, money-hungry hooch with a scary father, but it’s also true that I start waving my left hand around like a goon the moment I hear the beginning of this song. It’s just an awesome tune, with an even more awesome video. Just Beyonce and some dancers, but that’s all it took.

The amount of spoofs and homemade covers this video spawned is plain crazy. And if we weren’t sure it was one of the best videos of the year, we were after Kanye put shapes in his hair and told us it was.

3. My Life Would Suck Without You, Kelly Clarkson

What would a year-end music countdown be without a Shelly appearance? I’ll answer that. It would be a sad, sad thing. And I’m about great, happy things.

While any ‘09 Shelly song could fill this spot in my book, it’s hard to deny the power of the ‘Suck.’ The song set a Billboard chart record back in January when it leaped from 97 to 1 on the Hot 100 in one week. I was not surprised when it happened and I remained not surprised. It’s a great pop song from the best vocalist in pop music. Of course it went to #1. Watch her toss shit out the window and prance around a fake apartment with her video boyfriend below.

2. Use Somebody, Kings of Leon

One of the year’s best songs, courtesy of arguably the year’s best band. Kings of Leon has been around for awhile, but in 2009 the masses took hold of the Followill boys and haven’t let go yet. The entire “Only by the Night” album is ridiculously good, but Use Somebody has that anthemic quality which makes it a big crowd favorite.

1. Poker Face, Lady Gaga

Numero Uno for the Alejandro lover. I re-arranged this Top 11 ordering a half dozen times, but each time Gaga was still #1. This song was inescapable in 2009 and bluffin’ with my muffin became a national catchphrase that made sexually insecure dudes everywhere wonder if their girlfriends where thinking about them…or Judy from the softball team. P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poker face…#1 for 2009!