Everyone with a pulse has been lashing out Taylor Swift ever since she claimed music’s biggest prize (Grammy for Album of the Year) and managed to stink up the joint with her live performance…all in the same night.

Like most entertainment news stories, this would/will die very quickly. It seems, however, that Taylor’s own record label is doing everything they can to keep this bit of bad press…in the press. “Jigga what,” you ask? Allow me to explain.

Scott Borchetta, head of Big Machine Records (Taylor’s label), spoke out in defense of the singer. That would be fine if he didn’t take a slam at a bunch of other artists in the process. Intentionally or not, and I’m gonna go with intentionally, Mr. Borchetta manages to discredit most/all singers that rose to fame via American Idol in one ittle wittle sound byte. Oh Scotty boy, the trouble you’ve caused. You can read his words, which are making the rounds thanks to the Associated Press, right here. For fun, I’ve pulled out two of my favorite quotes:

“She [Tayor] is the voice of this generation.”

“This is not ‘American Idol.’ This is not a competition of getting up and seeing who can sing the highest note. This is about a true artist and writer and communicator. It’s not about that technically perfect performance.”

What. A. Tool. Way to attack the biggest show on television – and probably blacklist your artist from ever appearing on said show – in one fell swoop. What a dumb dumb.

Everyone’s favorite Idol, Kelly Clarkson, has responded to Mr. Borchetta’s asinine comments via her often-sassy blog. You can read her words by clicking here. Again, allow me to pull out some highlights:

“…we not only hit the high notes, you forgot to mention we generally hit the ‘right’ notes as well.”

“Sincerely, One of those contestants from American Idol who only made it because of her high notes “

Oh Shelly. You’re so wise and so hilarious. You’ll all be surprised to hear (not really) that I completely agree with the Shelly on this one. I was also glad to notice that she doesn’t really attack Taylor in the post at all. We all know (right, Kanye?) that Kelly is a big fan of Taylor, and she does a good job, in the post, of keeping her sights firmly set on the douchery that is Scott Borchetta.

What do you say? Agree with the source of all goodness in this world? Or do you agree with Borchetta that Idol churns out technical ’singers’ but not true ‘artists’?

I’ve already mentioned my love of year-end lists, and the American Idol anticipation is reaching a fever pitch in my apartment (mostly just my bedroom), so I thought now would be the perfect time to reveal The Lamp Post’s rundown of the Top 12 Performances in American Idol history. I know 10 sounds better, but I couldn’t do it. I love it too much. So you get two bonus clips! Check them out below and let me know if you agree – or totally disagree – with my list.

12. Chris Daughtry, “Walk The Line”

Before Chris Daughtry stole Chad Kroeger’s UFC-lovin’ fan base, he nearly won Idol’s 5^th season. But he didn’t. I hardly think he cares, though. He’s sold millions. Check out his take on this Cash classic. So dark. So bald.

11. Clay Aiken, “Solitaire”

Oh, Clay Aiken. What would this world be without Clay Aiken and his Claymates? A little more sane, sure, but we’d miss out on so much more. Say what you will about Clay and his baby mama, he’s got a great voice. And this performance is seriously good.

10. Jordin Sparks, “I Who Have Nothing”

It was weird to watch such a youngin’ sing about such big girl things, but Jordin Sparks still nailed this song. And here is a case with a name that just spells victory from the get go. Jordin SPARKS. If Sparks weren’t enough, spelling Jordin with an I certainly is.

9. Fantasia, “Summertime”

Again with the annoyingly unique names. I mean this one is a Disney film. Plus, one-named artists are instantly loved. Sorry Lil’ Rounds, you’re “lil” ruined your shot. Or was it your out of tune voice? I don’t remember. Anyway, this was Fantasia’s big moment, as well as one of the only performances I enjoyed. Hate on me, if you must. The screechines is unappealing.

8. Adam Lambert, “Mad World”

It’s easy to forget what a great singer Adam Lambert is when he’s sharing leftovers with Keyboard players and forcing faces into his zipper, but the dude can sing. Not just scream, really sing. This was a totally haunting performance that proved he’s not all flashy theatrics.

[Note: It appears that there are no embeddable versions of this video anywhere on the interweb, so a link to the clip will have to suffice this time: Adam Lambert, "Mad World"]

7 Katharine Mcphee, “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”

I had Mcphever from the get go. I became a true fan when she nearly crossed the “how slutty is too slutty?’ line with the yellow, “I Have Nothing” dress. This song was a truly great performance, though. Feel her pain as she grabs her neck and tosses her hair (and rips her dress). And the emotion – what an actress.  Check it out.

6.  David Archuleta, “Imagine”

Ah, Archie. The original nugget. Totally great. Except for the wildly creepy Dad. This performance was one of his best, and Paula’s critique is nearly undecipherable. God, I miss her already.

5. Jennifer Hudson, “Circle of Life”

Rise up, child. Rise up, zebra. Rise up baby Simba. This was amazing. And It was obvious there were bigger songs still to come for this supreme diva.

4. Tamyra Gray, “A House Is Not A Home”

Remember her? In addition to being the skinniest person in the world that’s not Kate Moss, Tamyra Gray nearly beat Shelly out for the Season 1 crown. Luckily, that tragedy was averted. She has a gnarly voice, regardless. This was particularly incredible.

3. Kris Allen, “Heartless”

Yes, it really was that good. This song is the reason Kris Allen won American Idol; everything about it is perfect.  Acoustic guitar + crystal clear nugget voice = recipe for a victory.

2. Carrie Underwood , “Making Love Out of Nothing At All”

I know I’ve given this Stepford wife a hard time lately, but I do like her. She sure is purdy and she’s got a terrific voice. A tad sharp at times, but that’s just because she lacks Shelly’s years of training. I almost picked “Alone,” because I think that was the song that made Carrie the one to beat in Season 4, but this Air Supply cover has always been my favorite. Plus, we get one of the best glory notes ever on Idol at the end of this tune.

1. Kelly Clarkson, “Stuff Like That There”

What did you expect? Norman Gentle? Of course Shelly is #1. But even when I take my fanboy costume off (it’s so tight, so hard to get off), this would still be number one. It’s hard to select from her assortment of flawless vocal performances, but this one – which came during Big Band week – is definitely the best of the best, the bomb diggity. Click it. Hear it. Love it.

Well if one thing’s for sure about this year’s American Music Awards, it’s this: there was something for everyone. Let’s review, shall we?

We had awkward via satellite footage of Taylor Swift (live from London) winning numerous awards. As always, she looked like a giddy Asian tourist at Disneyland during each of her acceptance speeches. She even beat out Michael Jackson for Artist of the Year, which is just hilarious on so many levels.

This night had the good, the bad & the you-know-what. We had flawless vocal performances from the likes of Mary J. Blige, a somewhat rehabilitated Whitney Houston and the always-flawless Shelly Sharkson. And if that weren’t enough, there were even simulated blow jobs, human leashes and a guy on glam make-out session courtesy of Adam Lambert!

In an effort to keep from bubbling over with excitement – and word count – here are some of the night’s highlights and my thoughts.

Janet Jackson looks ok, but would it kill her to actually sing? And why is there so much room in the crotch of her pants? She must be storing whatever is left of the Jackson family secrets.

Oh, Kelly Clarkson (Shelly Sharkson). Like a fine wine, you only get better with age. Sure, your dress makes you seem the elder stateswoman of the evening, but your voice is as smooth and lovely as ever. Oh, some coloring of the notes at the end. Do the damn thing, girl. The stage is your coloring book. Chills. Oh, what is this? A standing ovation? Of course it is. FHJADSHGAJGA! Hell to the no! Carrie Underwood, I don’t know what that shady face you’re wearing is for, but your ass was SLOW to rise up in appreciation of your older, wiser Idol sister. No respect. Check the video at the end of the post for the proof!

Gloriana just beat Gaga for Breakthrough Artist in what must be the biggest travesty ever for that award. Who the hell are you, Gloriana? Oh, apparently they toured with T Swifty. So we have Taylor Swift to blame for this.

Oh dear, J. Lo just hit the ground and she hit it hard. Thank God that thing is insured. She’s gonna need a new hip (and a new hit) when this sloppy mess is done.

Fergie & Carrie Underwood sound decent but equally out of tune this evening. Fergie has a right to be shaky. Her boo went and cheated on her with a fugly stripper. What’s your excuse Carrie? Is that stick up your ass making it hard to sing and smile at the same time?

Whitney is doing the damn thing, isn’t she? Still has a little crazy in her eyes, but she sounds great. OMG I love this weird ending. “Thank you! Thank you!” I wanted her to slip up and say “Bobbyyyyy!”

Lady Gaga and her troupe are wearing nude-colored suits. Hmm, this beginning is a little boring. Oh here we go – fake glass is fake shattering! I like this new song, Speechless. Say what you want about Gaga, her crazy antics and Amy Winehouse-like nose, the girl can definitely sing.

Oh God, Rihanna, I hate these new songs. What is wrong with you? Just break out an umbrella and do it, already.

Timbaland is a fat man in a tiny jacket. If everyone is going to call Shelly fat all the time, they need to do the same to this big ol’ nugget. ::Sigh::  Double standards.

And finally, we have Adam Lambert. What is there to say about this performance that hasn’t been said already? Although the west coast airing was apparently censored, those of us on the east coast saw it all. Adam started off strolling around the stage, clutching a leash which just so happened to be tied to a human being. Interesting. It’s sort of like those crazy parents that keep their kids on child leashes at amusement parts. No, that’s not right. This is definitely much weirder than that. Oh look at this. Now he has shoved his disco stick right into the face of a gentleman that looks all to excited to be the recipient. And now he’s sucking major face with the keyboard player. Wow. My jaw didn’t lift off the ground for a solid 4 minutes.

I need a cold shower – and a do-over of my first Catholic Reconciliation. Forgive me Father, for we all have sinned.

If you’re looking for clips of Kelly, Gaga & Adam, well you’re a day too late. Dick Clark and co. have pulled the videos from YouTube. If you’re super sleuthy, you can find other clips of the performances with a quick Google search.

Taylor Swift is a precious, precocious little nugget. Actually, she’s a gigantically tall nugget. She writes sweet lil’ diddies, allegedly dates a werewolf and does a terrific Shakira impersonation. Miss Swift cleaned up at last night’s CMA Awards, winning four trophies including the coveted Entertainer of the Year Prize.

Wynonna Judd (Remember her?) had a thing or two to say about Taylor’s big win in an interview with USA Today:

“You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon. Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. It’s just too much of a good thing too soon.”

Am I the only one who thinks this is nothing but a semi-sad attempt by Wynonna to make headlines as she drifts into irrelevancy? Hey Ashley – take a break from rescuing wolves and tell your big sis to chill the eff out. She’s goin’ all Kanye on my girl, T-Swifty. Yep, I made the obvious Kanye joke.

In other CMA news, West Virginia’s own Brad Paisley was victorious again in the Best Male Vocalist category, while the reigning queen of new country, Carrie Underwood, was shut out. I doubt Carrie is too bummed. Her mantle is already plenty full. Plus, although I love Carrie’s voice and think she’s a talented, sexy gal, I’m starting to get pretty sick of her. She’s become Clive Davis’s country robot. Plus, she AINT NO Shelly Sharkson. Here’s a shot of Taylor and all her new flair.