Everyone with a pulse has been lashing out Taylor Swift ever since she claimed music’s biggest prize (Grammy for Album of the Year) and managed to stink up the joint with her live performance…all in the same night.

Like most entertainment news stories, this would/will die very quickly. It seems, however, that Taylor’s own record label is doing everything they can to keep this bit of bad press…in the press. “Jigga what,” you ask? Allow me to explain.

Scott Borchetta, head of Big Machine Records (Taylor’s label), spoke out in defense of the singer. That would be fine if he didn’t take a slam at a bunch of other artists in the process. Intentionally or not, and I’m gonna go with intentionally, Mr. Borchetta manages to discredit most/all singers that rose to fame via American Idol in one ittle wittle sound byte. Oh Scotty boy, the trouble you’ve caused. You can read his words, which are making the rounds thanks to the Associated Press, right here. For fun, I’ve pulled out two of my favorite quotes:

“She [Tayor] is the voice of this generation.”

“This is not ‘American Idol.’ This is not a competition of getting up and seeing who can sing the highest note. This is about a true artist and writer and communicator. It’s not about that technically perfect performance.”

What. A. Tool. Way to attack the biggest show on television – and probably blacklist your artist from ever appearing on said show – in one fell swoop. What a dumb dumb.

Everyone’s favorite Idol, Kelly Clarkson, has responded to Mr. Borchetta’s asinine comments via her often-sassy blog. You can read her words by clicking here. Again, allow me to pull out some highlights:

“…we not only hit the high notes, you forgot to mention we generally hit the ‘right’ notes as well.”

“Sincerely, One of those contestants from American Idol who only made it because of her high notes “

Oh Shelly. You’re so wise and so hilarious. You’ll all be surprised to hear (not really) that I completely agree with the Shelly on this one. I was also glad to notice that she doesn’t really attack Taylor in the post at all. We all know (right, Kanye?) that Kelly is a big fan of Taylor, and she does a good job, in the post, of keeping her sights firmly set on the douchery that is Scott Borchetta.

What do you say? Agree with the source of all goodness in this world? Or do you agree with Borchetta that Idol churns out technical ’singers’ but not true ‘artists’?

The countdown binge continues, friends, and today it’s my take on the best songs of the year.

This list is based on a few factors. I went for songs that had the biggest impact on music and pop culture in America in 2009, but I also included some tunes that I just really love.

What was your favorite song of The Great Recession 2009? Here’s my top 11, with clips of each.

11. Empire State of Mind, Jay Z feat. Alicia Keys

The song that defined a team – and then a city. This song has been everywhere during the last few months. Whether you’ve been humming it endlessly – or been irritated endlessly by it – this song has been a part of your life.

10. Sober, P!NK

P!NK is one of the most underrated artists in pop music. She releases consistently great songs and has a terrific live voice to back it up. This song has a great hook – but also an interesting message. It’s about realizing that, at some point, you have to leave the partying behind. (LiLo, please take note. We all miss Cady Heron.) Plus, this video offers up some P!NK on P!NK kissing which is both enticing and decidedly uncomfortable at the same time.

9. Need You Now, Lady Antebellum

This song has been on repeat on my iPod for the last few months and for good reason. It’s hauntingly beautiful and their harmonies are just so purdy. The video also fits in nicely. It illustrates the lyrics perfectly, with a little surprise twist at the end.

These guys are definitely one of the best new country artists of the last few years. Listen to this song, have some drinks and then call someone you shouldn’t.

8. Bulletproof, La Roux

One of the best electronic singles of the year, for me. Lost in the shadow of Gaga, there are other artists doing some cool things in the dance/electronic world – and La Roux is one of them. (Update: I’m told La Roux is two people, which is curious since they only ever show the one girl. So, I’m going to continue calling them ‘her.’) HER whole album is great, but this single just makes me all kinds of happy. I dare you not to bob your head to this beat. The video is just kind of a a trippy video game, but the song is so good that it doesn’t matter.

7. Hometown Glory, Adele

Great Song + Incredible Voice = Success. It’s really that simple with this one. Adele’s voice is like smooth butter and on this song it soars. The piano intro is aggressive and beautiful and everyone can relate to the song’s lyrics of hometown memories. Really cool, single shot video clip is an added bonus. The sets and camera moves make for some really cool moments.

6. You Belong With Me, Taylor Swift

Some songs are so ubiquitous that they simply can’t be ignored. This is one of those songs – and in 2009 – Taylor Swift was definitely one of those artists. “You Belong With Me” represents Taylor perfectly. It’s a sweet, catchy love song with a sugary sweet music video to boot.

Everyone knows this song an mostly everyone likes it, though some folks will never admit to that. It’s also impossible to watch the music video without smiling. However, you’re not really helping out the wind section of that band by just waving that flute around, Swifty.

5. That’s Not My Name, The Ting Tings

Probably my very favorite group of 2009, The Ting Tings ‘ music was everywhere. Slumdog Millionaire, MTV’s Taking The Stage, countless commercials and always in my head. All their tunes are catchy as hell, but this stands out among the rest.

Oh and here’s a little challenge: listen to the second, background chorus in this song, sung by the guy, and try to decipher the lyrics. Do it, it’s fun. Don’t just Google the lyrics. Well, now that I said that you probably will just Google the lyrics. Oh well…

4. Single Ladies, Beyonce

It’s true that I think Beyonce is an overexposed, money-hungry hooch with a scary father, but it’s also true that I start waving my left hand around like a goon the moment I hear the beginning of this song. It’s just an awesome tune, with an even more awesome video. Just Beyonce and some dancers, but that’s all it took.

The amount of spoofs and homemade covers this video spawned is plain crazy. And if we weren’t sure it was one of the best videos of the year, we were after Kanye put shapes in his hair and told us it was.

3. My Life Would Suck Without You, Kelly Clarkson

What would a year-end music countdown be without a Shelly appearance? I’ll answer that. It would be a sad, sad thing. And I’m about great, happy things.

While any ‘09 Shelly song could fill this spot in my book, it’s hard to deny the power of the ‘Suck.’ The song set a Billboard chart record back in January when it leaped from 97 to 1 on the Hot 100 in one week. I was not surprised when it happened and I remained not surprised. It’s a great pop song from the best vocalist in pop music. Of course it went to #1. Watch her toss shit out the window and prance around a fake apartment with her video boyfriend below.

2. Use Somebody, Kings of Leon

One of the year’s best songs, courtesy of arguably the year’s best band. Kings of Leon has been around for awhile, but in 2009 the masses took hold of the Followill boys and haven’t let go yet. The entire “Only by the Night” album is ridiculously good, but Use Somebody has that anthemic quality which makes it a big crowd favorite.

1. Poker Face, Lady Gaga

Numero Uno for the Alejandro lover. I re-arranged this Top 11 ordering a half dozen times, but each time Gaga was still #1. This song was inescapable in 2009 and bluffin’ with my muffin became a national catchphrase that made sexually insecure dudes everywhere wonder if their girlfriends where thinking about them…or Judy from the softball team. P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poker face…#1 for 2009!

Disclaimer: This blog post is written in the active tense. No, I didn’t lose my mind. I don’t always think I’m at the computer typing. I wrote this post, literally, while I was watching the show. I learned something about myself whilst reading back what you are about to read. Something that I bet is not unlike most of you. I say “like” a whole lot. Way too much. The beauty of blog posts is that, like, I can remove all those before, like, you read them.

Here we go. Grammy Noms 09, sucka.

Well, “I’ve Gotta Feeling” is playing during the introduction. I bet that’ll be nominated for something. Ok, this is already weird and annoying. They are showing a bunch of artists and splicing their music together. But they aren’t saying what these folks are nominated for. Are these the nominees? Are these the only nominees? This is weird. I want answers.

LL Cool J tells us how you get a grammy. Ok. This feels like Mr. Rogers when we would tour a gum factory or vaccum cleaner assembly line.

Now the Black Eyed Peas are here to sing the song we already heard once. This is just great. Shots of women with way too much plastic surgery. Kids of women with way too much plastic surgery. And their fathers, the guys that donated a lot of money to the recording industry.

I like the Peas and I love “I Gotta Feeling” but this isn’t a spectacular performance.  I get down with the dance jams, really I do. I boom boom pow. I meet halfway. I do it all. But this wasn’t all that.

Um, Will.I.Am. is telling us how we can get our faces on the Grammys? Doing our rendition of your song, Will.I.Am.? I guess that means that song we just heard is nominated. Weird once again. So cryptic.

Song of the Year. They are telling us it’s the year of the ladies. And here’s a video montage to prove it. Uh huh, all the usual suspects: Beyonce, Gaga, Taylor, SHELLY! SHELLY!, Keri Hilson, Pink. Wow, they really effed this song of the year presentation up terribly. We’ve got him giving us one name and showing an album cover of someone else. Yikes. Flash backs to anchoring the middle school morning television show. Don’t get the wrong idea. I delivered the daily weather report and other happenings around South Middle School mellifluously. I was on my game. Technical difficulties, however. They were a plenty. I mean, I can’t hold the camera and tell you it’s partly cloudy at the same time. I’m only one dude.

I’m wondering if this is George Lopez effing up or if someone in the booth is effing up. Maybe both. Probably both.

Nick Jonas is singing. He has a new project. Err, an Administration. He’s one of those people that sings as if every note is at the tip top of their range, and sometimes maybe even out of their rage. Like maybe they shouldn’t be singing that note.

Sugarland is the shiz, fo sho. Jennifer Nettles has a great voice. Twangy like woah, but still great.

This has been on for a half hour and they’ve announced two categories. We’ve gotten Song of the Year, and Pop Vocal Performance by A Duo or Group. Grammy categories use extremely specific vocabulary. But only two categories so far? This is not a nomination announcement. This is a not-that-great concert.

It’s 9:37 and we are finally getting the third category announcement. It’s Best Rock Album. I like most of these groups, but this feels like soft rock. Really soft. Like a down pillow. Now they are talking about Rap. Now it’s baby Rap. There’s Jimmy from Degrassi Drake.

Nomination update. It’s 9:43 and we know the nominees in four categories. Either this will be the shortest Grammys in history, or – as I suspected – this is all just one big, and kind of bad, concert.

LL’s back from commercial to tell us about…another commercial. Boo. I have always hated that awards shows do that. The “we’re back to say we’ll be right back.” Don’t waste my time, fools. Oh if you are in the NY area you are lucky enough to be seeing a Mohegan Sun commercial that is truly atrocious. Wasn’t there a TV musical set in a Vegas casino that failed miserably?

Country category…this makes 5, kids. Five categories revealed and there are 11 minutes left. Yawn.

Ringo Starr and Smokey Robinson are here to massage each other…’s egos. And now they are going to announce two categories. Ok, this is (slighty, only slightly) better.

So for Record of the Year, apparently they are going to play the wrong songs as they announce each nominee. Oh there, they’ve fixed it. But Smokey Robinson makes an old dead let it die joke about Kanye.

So I guess we won’t find out about any other big categories? Instead the Black Eyed Peas are performing…again. The same song. We’ve now heard some version of this song three times in this hour. Someone definitely gave someone else sexual favors to make that kind of monster promo happen. That’s all I’m sayin’.

Click HERE to read the full list of nominees. Beyonce got a (somewhat ridiculous) 10 nominations. Overall, it was a pretty predictable list of the same names over and over again.

There was a (very) bright spot on the nominee list, though, which can be found in the “Best Pop Vocal Album” category once you’ve clicked that little link. There you will find a one Shelly Sharkson nominated for “All I Ever Wanted.” There is justice in this world. Now I have to watch Glee. I’m sort of ODing tonight. It feels so good.

…ok so that second part isn’t true. Still, I bet the Facebook founder was pretty bummed to hear that Twitter, which is basically a glorified status message, has been named the most used word of 2009 by Texas-based algorithms company, the Global Language Monitor (GLM). Read the news here.

I feel so techie to be sharing news from an algorithms company. I need to hurry up and take in some VH1 dating shows, before I start sporting a pocket protector.

Barack Obama and H1N1 are Twitter’s bridesmaids, while stimulus and vampire rounded out this year’s top five. I’m sure Hillary Clinton, the avian flu and werewolves everywhere are pretty pissed. Team Jacob! (Actually I’m just team Taylor/Taylor.)

While we’re on the subject, you should probably follow me on Twitter @Mjlamp if you enjoy little nuggets of sassy hilarity throughout the day.

Taylor Swift is a precious, precocious little nugget. Actually, she’s a gigantically tall nugget. She writes sweet lil’ diddies, allegedly dates a werewolf and does a terrific Shakira impersonation. Miss Swift cleaned up at last night’s CMA Awards, winning four trophies including the coveted Entertainer of the Year Prize.

Wynonna Judd (Remember her?) had a thing or two to say about Taylor’s big win in an interview with USA Today:

“You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon. Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. It’s just too much of a good thing too soon.”

Am I the only one who thinks this is nothing but a semi-sad attempt by Wynonna to make headlines as she drifts into irrelevancy? Hey Ashley – take a break from rescuing wolves and tell your big sis to chill the eff out. She’s goin’ all Kanye on my girl, T-Swifty. Yep, I made the obvious Kanye joke.

In other CMA news, West Virginia’s own Brad Paisley was victorious again in the Best Male Vocalist category, while the reigning queen of new country, Carrie Underwood, was shut out. I doubt Carrie is too bummed. Her mantle is already plenty full. Plus, although I love Carrie’s voice and think she’s a talented, sexy gal, I’m starting to get pretty sick of her. She’s become Clive Davis’s country robot. Plus, she AINT NO Shelly Sharkson. Here’s a shot of Taylor and all her new flair.